Today is the day after. The day when I try to make sense out of what happened. The day when I try to rest through the restlessness, and find peace in some sense of accomplishment.

But let’s get something out there right up front – my race performance was a near disaster. I ran a great first half, which felt fantastic. I didn’t see it coming, but somewhere around mile 15, I knew I was in real trouble.

In retrospect, I think I overheated around mile 10. There was a lot of sun, and the temperature was more than 15 degrees above normal. I had a hard time getting the hydration right, and once things fell apart, I just couldn’t get it pulled back together. So we won’t even talk about my finishing time.

In many ways, I am just grateful I have a “finishing time”. Despite the pain, and having to walk more than run through the last 8 miles, I somehow remained in rather good spirits. And that, my friends, is what I take away from this whole experience as the real accomplishment.

I focused my attention as much as possible on things that were good, new, interesting, and amusing, and would like to share some of those things here.

* From my perspective, the people were all very nice and supportive. The ranks had thinned considerably back where I was running, and yet – there were residents out in their front lawns cheering us on, offering water, and just generally being really cool.

* Around mile 15 or 16, a young woman came running up slowly from behind me. She asked if this was my first. I laughed and said, “no, second one”. She sounded shocked “this is my first, and I have no idea why anyone would EVER do this twice! This is crazy”. I laughed and agreed. I am also guessing I’ll see her there again next year.

* It was funny to be running up a long incline in the hot weather and have to shuffle my way around a big pile of steamy roadkill, complete with a small cloud of flies buzzing about. I laughed at how the “city folk” would take this little gift from Wisconsin.

* There were these two walking ladies who passed me around mile 20. I suspect that they may have walked the whole race. And here’s the funny part, at least to me in the moment, they were FAST walkers. I kept trying to run, and would catch up to them very slowly, and would have to STOP… pretty much trying to not end up in an ambulance. Yeah, they finished well ahead of me :)

* As one might imagine, the whole porta potty thing is generally not the highlight of any race. Well, somewhere in the blur between mile 18 and 23, I came across a porta potty with no line. Unfortunately — judging by the state of the thing and the way it rocked after stepping inside — I think it was left behind by a construction crew or something, and not really put there for the race. After safely locked inside, I had a moment or two where I was wondering if I would simply pass out inside that thing. With my twisted sense of humor – this was a funny thought. It was also an amazing feeling to bust the hell out of that thing!

* It may be easy for some to dismiss those who are at the very end of the pack, but after hanging out there for a bit yesterday – I have to say that they are an inspiring crew. I ran for a bit with a number of people who were working as hard as they possibly could. They were hurting, but they just kept going. It was very moving to be in the presence of these people.

* There was also a funny moment near the end of the race when there was a group of men who appeared to maybe be Japanese. One of them was trying to cheer me on and yelled out nervously “you are good looking”. Why thank you, I thought to myself. Who gets a compliment like that at the end of a terrible race?

* Perhaps the best part of the whole day was seeing my friends back at the finish line. What an awesome group of people. I was so happy to cross that finish line. Words cannot do justice to that feeling.

So yes, it was a terrible race in some respects. But I finished. I completed my second 26.2 journey. It was transformative in many ways. It was also very, very humbling.

And even though I felt a lot of negative things eating away at me through those last few hours of the race – I was thankfully also able to remember that this was a special time in my life. I was out there. I was doing it, and giving it my all. I was exactly where I wanted to be. Unfortunately, it just turns out that disappointment is part of this journey at this time.

I have learned a lot, and have a lot left to learn.

Above all — my hope is that this experience will only serve to make my “dream race” all the sweeter.